Christmas Presence of Mind

‘Twas Christmas Eve and all the kids
Awaited Santa’s coming,
Although the rain was bouncing down
Like fifty drummers drumming.
Mrs. Claus said to her husband,
Prefaced with a kiss,
“You wouldn’t send a reindeer out
Upon a night like this.

When you were packing Action Men,
I swore I heard you wheezing,
And, as you stacked the Lego, I
Distinctly heard you sneezing.”
She felt his brow and said,
[Together with another kiss]
“I think you’re coming down with flu,
You’d best give it a miss.”

Santa pushed his chair back and
He stood up with a frown,
“Oh, no!” he cried, “There’s no way I
Could let the children down!
Imagine in the morning,” he cried,
In a tone that shocked her,
“Instead of toys they only found
A sick note from my doctor.”

“Okay, okay,” his wife exclaimed,
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
But when you’re six feet underground,
I will not come to mourn you.
To go outside on such a night
Is frankly quite insane, dear.
So, take the Merc or Jag, but please
Don’t go out in the rain, dear.”