50 Cent de Wrapp’n’ Paper

When Christmas comes, both toffs and peasants
Knuckle down to wrap their presents,
For no-one really can escape
The battle with the sellotape,
Which sticks to everything around
Except the present to be bound.
It sticks to fingers, sleeves and thumbs,
Shaggy rugs and hair and gums.
You stick a corner to a shelf
And lo! It’s stuck unto itself.
And you would qualify for Mensa
If you sussed the tape dispenser.

Next year, I have a stratagem –
I’ll invite over Eminem,
And if I find this problem sapping,
He can help me do some wrapping.