Wednesday, December 12, 2007

A Sad Christmas Tale

Christmas has a special glow,
There’s magic everywhere.
Robins warble in the snow
And carols fill the air.
But one young boy was sadder than
A bowl of misery,
The day an irate Dundalk fan
Destroyed his Christmas tree.

A little elf had brought it to
The house in Merrion Square.
It rang the bell and right on cue
Young John was standing there.
Suspicious, aye and wary,
He had thanked the little elf.
Alas! He had no fairy,
So he sat on top himself.

Santa Claus came calling
To Nick Leeson and his band.
John Gill thought it appalling
That he’d favoured Terryland.
The mood had been unseasonal
Above in county Louth,
And words uncouth and treasonal
The Dundalk folk did mouthe.

But far from angry peasants,
John was well in Christmas mode.
He dreamt of lovely presents
And a brand new Lansdowne Road.
But Christmas lights no longer shone
When, on an angry spree,
A Dundalk fan poured petrol on
His lovely Christmas tree.

The wicked act caused John to blanch.
It really spoiled his day.
Somebody called the Special Branch
To haul the chap away.
The tree, undressed, no longer shone
Within those stately walls.
Poor John was left to gaze upon
His petrol-smothered balls.

So spare a thought this Christmastime
For one poor little boy,
The victim of a heinous crime,
A brutal, savage ploy.
He’ll hang his balls where’er he can
But still sobs bitterly,
Because an irate Dundalk fan
Destroyed his Christmas tree.
Originally written Dec 13th 2006. "Fun and games in Dublin today, when an irate Dundalk fan burst into the headquarters of John Delaney's FAI in Merrion Square, poured petrol over himself and the Christmas tree and threatened to set himself alight. Although Dundalk won a play-off against Premier Club Waterford, both were overlooked to join the new revamped Premier League in favour of third place Galway United, who somehow got in on their off-the-field activities. The Dundalk fan came quietly and there is a great photo doing the rounds of a policeman carrying the tree down the steps."

Saturday, December 8, 2007

A Christmas wish come true

He hung his stocking from the bar,
Despite the ref’s objections.
The shots rained in from near and far,
Pile-drivers and deflections.

But no, he dived to left and right -
Was Fortune ever kinder?
Upon that magic Christmas night,
The keeper played a blinder.

Once he thought he heard some hooves
Land on the goal behind him.
Was Santa searching all the rooves?*
The keeper prayed he’d find him.

And, at the final whistle, he
Searched for his Christmas treat,
And from the stocking, with great glee,
He pulled out a clean sheet.